Lile is a mother of three and now a licensed pharmacist who managed to escape the cycle of domestic violence and rebuild her life from scratch. Today, Lile lives freely with her children, works as a pharmacist, and actively helps other women speak up, fight back, and put an end to violence.
THE ENVIRONMENT SHOULDN’T BE AN EXCUSE FOR SILENCE
For years, Lile lived in constant fear — not only for herself, but for her three children. Every attempt to leave the abusive environment was followed by uncertainty: how would she manage without a job, without a home, without a driver’s license, without security? “I was scared I wouldn’t make it. I had nothing — I hadn’t even obtained my license,” she recalls. But an even heavier burden was the worry about how her children, her parents, and the people around her would react. “I kept thinking about everyone except myself. Imagine — during that time, my children didn’t dare say what they thought or wanted,” she admits.
This kind of overthinking and constant analysis often appears in victims of domestic violence, especially mothers trying to protect their children from further trauma. Lile’s fear wasn’t just personal. The uncertainty of whether her environment would understand her and take her story seriously often fed her doubt that real change was possible. “I had reported several times, but it was the police officers — who were friendly toward my then-husband — who advised me to back down and calm things, instead of assessing how dangerous the situation was for me,” she says, describing a sense of helplessness in a community where everyone knows each other and personal ties outweigh professional ethics.
In such communities, where silence is often preferred over truth, women face not only violence but also distrust, gossip, and fear that they won’t be protected.
YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF WHEN SOMEONE BELIEVES IN YOU
In her darkest moments, Lile had the support of someone she now calls “more than a sister.” Her doctor and close friend were the first people who believed her, listened without judgment, and gave her strength when she couldn’t find it herself. “Every day, every minute I needed her, she was there. She wanted me to understand that I wasn’t alone,” Lile recalls.
It was through her that Lile learned about the existence of the SOS helpline of the National Council for Gender Equality and the possibility of receiving professional support. Anonymous counseling was the beginning of her escape from the cycle of violence. “Even today, she is my greatest support. She still gives me strength and helps me stay brave,” says Lile.
WHEN FREEDOM RELEASES FEAR
At the SOS center, Lile communicated daily by phone with the psychologist and the team — it was the only way available to her at the time. Later came support from the Center for Social Work. But the most profound change happened in the shelter center. Psychotherapy there helped her release the fear and everything she had been holding inside for years. “At first, I thought I was fine, so that I could endure what was happening to me,” Lile recalls. “But when I felt freedom and peace, the moment I felt safe — I realized I wasn’t fine. After a long period of fear and tension, my body finally relaxed. That’s when symptoms began to surface — trembling, insomnia, nightmares, inner restlessness — all things I had suppressed.”
Chronic stress, psychological numbness, a frozen body and mind — all of these are part of the survival mechanism. For victims who live in trauma for a long time, such reactions are not unexpected, experts say. It’s the psyche’s way of protecting itself while the pain is ongoing.
That’s why, even today, Lile returns to that place with positive emotions and calls it her “favorite.” Because there, she feels safe, accepted, and encouraged. “When things get hard, I feel the need to go there,” says Lile.
TWO YEARS LATER, SHE’S LIVING THE LIFE SHE DESERVES
“When I decided I had to start from scratch, I left with nothing but the clothes on me and my children — and today, two years later, we have everything,” says Lile, her eyes shining. She works as a pharmacist; in the profession she loves. She managed to obtain her license, pass her driving test, and buy her own car. Her children are safe — they attend school and kindergarten, growing up in a peaceful and stable environment.
She continues to care for her mental health and regularly sees a psychologist. And she’s not stopping there — she holds certificates in makeup and skincare and is already enrolled in a specialization in medical diagnostics at the Faculty of Medicine in Skopje. She’s also grateful for the support of her parents, who helped her create a warm home for herself and her children. “My life now looks better than ever,” says Lile — and it’s not just a statement, but a life she lives every day.
WHEN THE MOTHER IS WELL, THE CHILDREN WILL BE WELL
She speaks from experience and from the heart. To every woman in a similar situation, she says: “Think of yourself first. When the mother is well, the children will be well.” Her message is simple but essential — courage doesn’t mean being without fear but taking the first step despite it. At the same time, she calls on institutions to respond quickly, responsibly, and with sensitivity toward victims of domestic violence. Court proceedings, protection measures, divorces, and applications for social housing must not drag on for months or years, because every day spent in uncertainty is a day in which a woman fights for her safety. “I’m one of those who has submitted an application for social housing and I’m still waiting for a response,” says Lile, “and I’m hoping for a positive one.”
This story reminds us of the courage women carry — even in their most vulnerable moments. It stands as an inspiration to all who are trying to rewrite their own story. Within it, there is hope, strength, and proof that the first step — though difficult — is possible. And for those who remain silent, this is a quiet call: a life without fear is real.
