After a short relationship and a rushed marriage, 46‑year‑old Tea endured years of psychological and physical abuse from her husband. The violence often unfolded in front of their three children, leaving lasting scars on their childhood. Despite countless obstacles, she found the strength to make the most important decision of her life – to leave the home and begin divorce proceedings. With support from the national network for the protection of women survivors, psychologists, and lawyers, she began building her new future. Today she is a proud mother, economically independent and professionally fulfilled. Her message to women is clear: “Do not wait – every day in silence is a new scar.”
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL BURDEN OF PREJUDICE
Tea’s story is a mirror of many women who, under the pressure of social expectations and prejudice, make decisions that later bring them deep pain. The pressure to marry “on time” and the fear that children must have a father at any cost kept her trapped in a marriage that tormented her physically, mentally, and emotionally.
“Tony started drinking regularly. A lot of alcohol always meant a lot of arguments and violence. At first it happened late at night when we were alone, but later even in front of the children,” she recalls.For Tea, isolation became a new form of survival. “My closest relatives and friends had to stay away because Tony threatened them. I was ashamed in front of my friends,” she says. The threats not only kept her in fear but also distanced her from her closest ones.
PREGNANCY IS NOT A SOLUTION
Pregnancy is often seen as the last hope to save a marriage – a symbol of a new beginning and a chance for change. But Tea’s testimony exposes the harsh reality: a child is no guarantee of ending violence.
“I became pregnant with my third child. The pregnancy was unplanned, but not unwanted. It was my last hope that something would change. But even before the baby was born, I was living in hell. In the ninth month, drunk and angry, my husband dragged me by the hair through the house. That was when I gathered the strength to escape,” she recounts.
Instead of protection, institutions pushed her back into danger: “Where will you go, woman, with such a belly? Go back to your children and husband,” were the instructions from the police station. Alone, with her brother as her only support, she gave birth to her third child 48 hours later. After the birth, she returned again to the home of the abusive husband, aware that this was the beginning of the end.
WHEN A FATHER IS A THREAT, NOT PROTECTION
Tea remained in the violent marriage for another three years, trapped between fear and social pressure, with the thought: “I have three children and I don’t want them to grow up without a father.”
But the presence of a father who is synonymous with violence brings not protection but threat. In such an environment, the idea of “not growing up without a father” becomes a dangerous illusion that leaves the deepest marks on children. For Tea’s eldest son, the consequences appeared at school through destructive and aggressive behavior.
“At the examination he was prescribed sedatives that are given to schizophrenics,” she testifies, revealing the weight of the trauma her child carried. After prescribing the therapy, the psychiatrist gave her another piece of advice, with the best of intentions: “The child’s condition will not improve unless the environment in which he grows up and lives changes.”
Those words awakened Tea, struck her as a mother, and forced her to face the painful truth. In that moment – filled with both pain and determination – she decided to begin divorce proceedings.
HUMAN SUPPORT BEHIND THE LEGAL STRUGGLE
From the very beginning, Tea received her greatest support from the national network for the protection of women survivors, which provided psychological help for her and later for her children, as well as constant accompaniment by a social worker at every meeting in the Center for Social Work, to protect her interests and encourage her. Additionally, the network awarded her a grant to start her own business.
In the legal proceedings, she was initially represented by a friend for a minimal fee, but due to threats and blackmail the friend withdrew. Lawyer J.M. then took over her case unconditionally and without any compensation – not only for the divorce but also for all criminal proceedings that were initiated and are still ongoing. His persistence and presence at every hearing proved that true support is not only legal but also deeply human. “He never left me alone at a hearing – that gave me the strength to endure,” Tea says.
CUSTODY AND THE FINANCIAL STRUGGLE
Gaining custody of the children did not change the everyday family dynamic – Tea had already been caring for them alone, while the father was absent and uninterested. But the legal confirmation brought new security: institutional recognition that the children were growing up with one parent who was present, responsible, and devoted. For her, it was a symbol of stability and protection, especially after the long and exhausting struggle through institutions.
Financial independence became the second pillar of her new reality. With support from her family and the national network, Tea was able to start her own business and secure stable work as an educational assistant. She does not rely on her ex‑husband – she builds her future independently, with strength and community support. “The responsibilities toward the children have always been mine, and the expenses my responsibility. Today I carry them with pride and independence,” Tea emphasizes.
Tea’s story is testimony that the path from violence to freedom is long, difficult, and full of obstacles – but it is possible. It shows that institutional support is important, but that true strength lies in the courage of a woman to make the hardest decision and to persevere. Today Tea is a symbol of resistance and hope – a mother who managed to secure a peaceful and safe environment for her children, an economically independent woman who builds her future with dignity. Her message to women remains strong and unequivocal: “Your future depends only on you.”
